I was talking to a newsreading and writing colleague on a local radio station and joking about the fact that she did not prefix before the news: “This bulleting contains, drug references, violence etc.”
“Many true words spoken in jest,” was the admonition from my Irish granny.

The day could be coming when the old adage: What’s Sauce for The Goose…etc will extend further than TV and movies. Sez you, ‘What’s he raving about? ‘Easy, sez I. The regulation regarding categorisation and references to TV and movies. You know, where they label each show with an initial such as M, MA, V, SR, DR, or with a warning….”The following contains ….”  

Every show has a rating – oops, I don’t think the news does, I mean, if anything has more sex, violence, course language or drug references it has to be the news (well, perhaps Question Time) At this stage, the weather escapes as being squeaky clean. Commercials seem to be free of ratings too. Take the ad where the dog, and everyone else, mutters “Bugger” no reference to course language.

Now I’m not, repeat not trying to be a do-gooder here. Just curious as to why not.

Now once upon a time (well a couple of news bulletins ago) a famous Prime Minister declared that Television shows that contained nasty stuff would be aired only after Big Dog and Possum said nighty-night to the ankle biters.  

What he didn’t envisage was the spate of kiddos (well those not out on the sports battlegrounds) glued to the telly on Satdee mornings watching cartoons. Lawdy! Does that begat violence. Tom and Jerry, Tweety and Sylvester, Roadrunner’s Charlie Coyote setting up booby traps and being squashed, splattered, blown up burnt and buried (says a lot for the quality of Acme products).

 Sabrina The Teenage Witch, and everyone’s fave, Bugs Bunny being shot at by little Elmer Fudd. Now that’s violence. How Pepé Le Poo – the French hilarious skunk cartoon lover of the 50s was – just reeking (no pun intended) with raw sex.

Nor did he imagine the little darlings would pore over comics or raid the toy shops (they’re not rated) and have Santa deliver – everything of mass destruction that George W. would give his eye-teeth for, were they the real McCoy – the weapons, not the teeth.  

The junior misses – aiming to be apprentice sex goddesses rave over non-rated Barbie Dolls – the sexier, the more popular.  

The latter day cartoons are twice as bad. There’s more blood spilt in and out of space than what’s available in the Blood Banks.  

Now, what my rave today is. Why are there no ratings for magazine or books?

Go to any newsagent and watch the magazine browsers strut their stuff – except for a few, which are sealed, most are available for grubby little fingers attached to bodies with hormones going ninety to the dozen to oooh and aaah over.

Read any newspaper, there are no warning signs attached to the front page.

Browse through the library and I bet that Lady Chatterley’s Lover or any book by Danielle Steele does not have rating labels on the cover.

But as sure as there are flies round the barbie – the day could be coming. For Heaven’s sake not a word to Canberra or Macquarie Street, they might take me seriously.

If it does, imagine this. The daily Editorial conference in a newspaper somewhere on George Street.

Ed: Look guys, we’re gonna have to watch our headlines – we’re getting complaints from reader. Take yesterday’s front page story: “Shy HEROINE….” We’ll have to watch that one – it could be misconstrued as a veiled drug reference.

The second page lead story refers to Police CRACK Kindy Jellybean Heist. Can’t use Crack – some do-gooder may complain that we’re referring to drugs again. Sports Editor, your story on SPEED at Mount Panorama – we may have to take out the words speed – you know, drug reference again and I’m going to get the subbies to change the headline about POWDER snow falling on Kelso. 

  Political Reporters, I want you to refer to the UPPER House, as the Other Place and any reference to Alexander DOWNER must be replaced by the expression Former Foreign Minister – get my drift.

  Advertising people, the ad referring to Coca Cola must not contain the word COKE and drop the ad referring to the girl being full of ECSTASY after washing with Jungle soap and then being proposed to. 
 Sorry Guys political correctness rules. It’s either that or all of our newsagents must warn readers that this publication has drug, sex or violence reference.

I can just imagine the editors of our august publications placing warning signs against each story – imagine a V (violence) against every Rugby League, Rugby, Soccer or boxing story or an S (sexual reference) against the word knickers.

Magazines, especially ladies’ journals would be rife with them. Tempting stories such as “10 Ways to Fake An Orgasm.” (SR); ” I Shared A Coke With John Howard (DR). ” I Separated Guy Sebastian From his Pants” (SR). “My Night Of Terror with Mr Squiggle.” (V)…oh yes, and a word of warning, the 
Letters to the Editor column also contain sexual and drug references and violence, not to mention the puzzles

The chaps and chapesses of the BX library would no doubt tear their hair out having to put labels on all its books. Who’s game to go through all the Mills & Boon and categorise them.


Slip down to the Cathedral or your church and imagine the clergyperson reading the lesson and saying: “The following lesson contains references violence and sex. ” 

If you want sex, read the Song Of Solomon; violence David and Goliath, and the Easter Story – no need to blame Mel Gibson for that one — drugs (well strong wine) check out Samson and Delilah.

Why stop there, check out the history books – wow! Sizzling. Doesn’t a bunch of Vikings raping, pillaging and getting shickered on mead, not deserve a rating? Helen of Troy – what a hot story. Sex, violence, the lot. The Battle of Agincourt, Big Julie Caesar, wasted on the Senate steps. Not rated. Why not?  

 There I’ve said my piece. Now I’m off to view the news (S,V, DR, MA, CL).